What To Do With A Broken Relationship (5 Powerful Steps Part 4)

STEP 4: INVITE RECONCILIATION

When we are disputing with others, one of the hardest things to. do is to sit down and calmly talk it over. It is so easy to avoid them or to allow angry emotions to spill out during what we intended to be a quiet discussion of our differences. A confrontation with someone who has sinned against us is often avoided because of embarrassment, fear, or even anger. But it is absolutely necessary if relationships are to be repaired. Whenever conflict exists, we must invite the other party to talk about the issues so that the differences can be resolved.

The Command. An invitation to reconciliation is an expression of obedience to the Lord's command. Jesus taught that the right way to settle a dispute is for the individuals themselves to get together and work it out. Whether we have knowingly offended others or they have offended us, our responsibility is to go to them and resolve the problem. Getting them to cooperate may be difficult, but the Lord has instructed us to do it. We have no reasonable option but to obey.

The Need for Honesty. A face-to-face encounter has no value unless we intend to be open and sincere. If someone has wronged us, we are to tell them. If we are hurt or angry, we must say it. How- ever, this should not be done for the sake of argument or to get even. Rather, we should let the other person know that we are being candid because we want things to be right between us.

The Importance of Privacy. The conflict is often made worse when the problem is not confined to the parties involved. We must be discreet. Whatever we have to say should be said privately to the one who is at fault. This approach keeps us from back- biting, slander, and gossip. It also guards the reputations of all involved. By not making the matter public, we show our respect. Also, by that action, we may influence the person to respond favorably to us as well.

The Time for Mediators. A face-to-face encounter with the other person may not resolve the problem. According to Matthew 18:16, if the private confrontation fails, we should enlist the help of others. The wisdom and influence outsiders may bring can be helpful. And even if the problem. remains, they can still be witnesses to guard against any misrepresentation of the things discussed. Then, if we're unsuccessful - even with the help of mediators - the next step is to take them before the church.

When we have strife with others, therefore, we must invite them to confront the issues and work with us to resolve them.

Thinking It Over. When was the last time you sat down with an adversary and talked through the issues that separated you from him? Why is it so hard to be straightforward when confronting others? Why is it easier to enlist allies than to seek a godly mediator? If you are aware of a rift between two people, what can you do to help mediate the conflict?




Citations: Radio Bible Class (RBC)

Enoch Okon