What To Do With A Broken Relationship! (5 Powerful Steps Part 5)

STEP 5: FORGIVE

A Sunday school teacher was explaining forgiveness to her class of first-graders. She said that if a classmate mistreated one of them, they had to be kind in return. And if the offender said he was sorry, it was not to be held against him. The class members looked at one another with troubled faces until finally one of the little girls blurted out, "But teacher, that's hard!" She was right. It's hard for all of us. Yet broken relationships cannot be repaired unless we are ready to do what is difficult.
We must be willing to acknowledge our offenses and forgive one another as God has forgiven us. But how is our response to others to reflect God's forgiveness?

Judicial Forgiveness. This means that our forgiveness, like God's, is not a matter of overlooking or excusing the offenses of others. It is concerned with upholding justice. It recognizes the wrongness of what people do to each other, and the rightness of proper punishment. But it also recognizes that since Jesus has already taken the punishment, we
are free to forgive without violating the just law of retribution. Yes, what people do to each other may hurt, but it has been paid for by Jesus Christ Himself. This makes forgiving each other the right thing to do.

Conditional Forgiveness. As God has forgiven us, we must be willing to forgive one another at all times. But that forgiveness is not complete unless those who have offended us are willing to repent. Jesus taught: “If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, "I repent," you shall forgive him” (Luke 17:4).

There has to be a genuine acknowledgment of the wrong done and a serious effort to clear it with the one offended. Without it, broken relationships can't be repaired.

Decisional Forgiveness. This means that we must choose to forgive in spite of our feelings. The Bible says that even though God is grieved and angered by our sin (Psalm 7:11), He chooses to forgive (Ephesians 4:32). And we must do the same with each other. Regardless of our feelings, we must choose to forgive whatever may have been said or done to offend us.

Emotional Forgiveness. Although we must forgive even when we don't feel like it, we should strive to include the proper emotional element. This means that forgiving each other not only involves the use of our will, but it also includes the attitude of our hearts. Paul pointed this out in his letter to the Colossian Christians. He said that we should have heartfelt compassion toward others, along with kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. We should bear with each other, forgiving whatever complaints we may have against one another (Colossians 3:12,13).

These ideals are not easy to put into practice when someone has hurt us deeply and is throwing insults our way. But the proper response can be ours if we allow God to control our hearts. The apostle Paul's inspired list of the fruit of the Spirit points to the right attitudes.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another” (Galatians 5:22-26).

If we truly want to honor God with our lives, we must let His Spirit work in us so that ours will be a forgiveness that comes from the heart.

Thinking It Over. When someone asks you for forgiveness, do you find it hard to forgive? Why? Are we right to hold back our forgiveness from those who haven't acknowledged their wrong? How can lack of forgiveness on our part hinder our own relationship with God?

God's Pattern/Our Practice. It may seem unlikely, but many people choose to ignore God's pattern for repairing broken relationships because they actually enjoy the conflict. There are people who have even said, "I enjoy a good fight. It keeps life interesting." Some neighbors express no desire to be on good terms with the people on the other side of the fence. Business associates continue to battle it out as they move up the ladder of success.

Citations: Radio Bible Class (RBC)

Enoch Okon

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                                                                              Part 1,Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5